Ups and downs

Wow, I have gone through some serious ups and downs lately. I think last time I wrote, I was sooooo pissed off at the wife that I was ready for divorce. I didn't know what to do. Well, I fought through all that crap and here I am in my new house. I moved into my new house that I bought, I found out that I made my next rank in the Air Force and my birthday is today. Happy birthday to me. I also got a suprising call from my ex-girlfriend, now friend from a long time ago. It was very nice to hear her voice. I'll have to tell you more on that later. Well, the wife started working again on her videos/cams...so that gave me some time to come down to my finished basement and type this and do other things. The kids are down here kinda driving me nuts...but thats ok. Well, I gotta go now....more later

Not an hour later

It hasn't been an hour since I wrote last time and my life hasn't improved anywhere. The deal is going exactly how I visioned it. Now I'm being drilled on writing in this blog because I don't share my thoughts. I am accused again of just going to my computer as soon as I get home...which for the both of us, when we are away from home for a while we first come home and check our email. That is what I did. I came home and checked my email, then we ate and right after, she told me she had to spend time alone. So she went into the bedroom to be alone. Kyle was very tired today and didn't take a nap so I put him to bed. After about 30 minutes, I went into the room and it started again with her being upset at me because I checked my email. Then I came in the family room to write in my blog this statement and again I'm wrong because I'm writing in this blog instead of talking to her about my thoughts....will this ever end???

The deal

So, I finally went to marriage counseling today and talked about my issues with my marriage. I made a deal with my therapist that I would record things that happen. I also told her that I would stop looking at porn for the week at least. I told her that would not solve our problem but ok, I will try.
So here it is 1748, only 1 hour since I have been home for the day and the arguments already started. I am sitting here reading my email and looking at myspace. She starts questioning me on why she isnt part of my friends. She knows that everytime she is, she drills me and condemns me for everything on my page. So I took her off of it. She then notice that I got a myspace comment from Tuff. So she starts asking what did she write. I get soooo tired of that. There is nothing that I can do with out her drilling me on why am i doing it or what did she write and 50 million other questions she asks me. Can't I do anything for myself. So we start arguing again because of this, which has nothing to do with porn. Right now, I have a head ache and i'm frustrated because this will never end. I feel hopeless.